A gift from my mama, This is based on a voice recording she made for me back in 2011. It is about how she met Ivan.
Now I’m going to record about your father. In 1946 (the) Americans came and we were very happy because we can go and eat and they were very, very nice to all the white people that we had there but they did not stay too long. In 1947 we woke up and they all were gone. All of them. So…
But In the meantime I met a boyfriend and his name was Calvin Lee Ross. And he had to leave so before he left he said he’s coming back for me. That I’ll be sure to wait for him. So I said “OK I will”. But you know Americans, they always say they’ll come but they never come. So I didn’t have much hope.
But I was waiting!
Then In 1947 I met your father. I went to the party. He brought his girlfriend with him. But danced with me all night and even didn’t take her home! He stayed there. So we had a nice time.
So I thought that was it, but no, he start calling me and one time he called me and I said I couldn’t go because I was going to the party.
There was a Chinese man, very rich man. Me and my girlfriend we knew him for quite a long time. Of course he had two or three wives (who knows?). But he was very nice and he always invited us for the party. So I went to the party. And…
Your father got mad and haven’t called me or talked to me for about a week. Finally he called me. And we went out. Then he was telling about his father and Harbin. And said he will never get married until his father brings his papers.
I said “Well that’s just fine because I am not intend to marry you. I have a boyfriend that’s supposed to come and get me and I’ll go to United States.
Then in 1948, my sister was living with us. We had the room and she had a little room by the kitchen. One day she came in and said “Ross is back”. And “He’s looking for you”.
(to be continued…)
We just buried mama Nadia last month, but she died intestate. We live in California so our state laws regarding funerals may differ from yours. Here is what I found…
If you die with:
here’s what happens:
children but no spouse, parents, or siblings
·children inherit everything
Children’s Shares in California
If you die without a will in California, your children will receive an “intestate share” of your property. The size of each child’s share depends on how many children you have and whether or not you are married. (See the table above.)
For children to inherit from you under the laws of intestacy, the state of California must consider them your children, legally. For many families, this is not a confusing issue. But it’s not always clear. Here are some things to keep in mind.
- Children born during your marriage. Any child born to your wife or registered domestic partner during your marriage or partnership is assumed to be your child and will receive a share of your estate.
- Grandchildren. Your grandchildren will receive a share only if their parent (your child) has died before you do.
· In case you want to read the law, Cal. Prob. Code §§ 6450–6455 covers parent-child relationships.
· This can be a tricky area of the law, so if have questions about your relationship to your parent or child, get help from an experienced attorney.
Other California Intestate Succession Rules
Here are a few other things to know about California intestacy laws.
- Survivorship period. To inherit under California’s intestate succession statutes, a person must outlive you by 120 hours. So if you and your brother are in a car accident and he dies a few hours after you do, his estate would not receive any of your property.
- Half-relatives. “Half” relatives inherit as if they were “whole.” That is, your sister with whom you share a father, but not a mother, has the same right to your property as she would if you had both parents in common.
- Posthumous relatives. Relatives conceived before–but born after–you die inherit as if they had been born while you were alive.
- Immigration status. Relatives entitled to an intestate share of your property will inherit whether or not they are citizens or legally in the United States.
- Slayer rule. Someone who “feloniously and intentionally” kills you will not receive a share of your property. (California Probate Code §§ 250.)
BTW This is a work of fiction only partially based on facts. Also I am not a lawyer and this is not advice!
It is strange to think that Einstein made a blunder. However once shown that our universe was actually expanding he removed his cosmological constant and simplified his equation to:
G = 8 * π * T
A beautiful equation.
But our reality and as best as our observations can confirm, there are errors between this ideal and what is actually happening. In my blogs I point out that what I write is fiction and here is my proof that even the most accurate description we can come up, is flawed because our reality is not what we think it is.
So we continue to try and understand.
Our mama died and was buried according to her religion. She was Russian Orthodox and a loving parent. As I write this it has not been 40 days quite yet so her soul is still wandering upon the earth.
I was baptized a Russian Orthodox as well. However my papa Ivan (whose father was a Russian Orthodox Priest) warned me about scientists. Which ironically I have become.
Nadia left all four of her children still alive. I am the oldest, my brother the youngest and our two sisters in-between. Papa passed away in 1985. Nadia in 2016. She told me often that she still loves Ivan. Well she is buried with him now and has not haunted me about that (yet!).
Now that I am a 66 year old orphan I question their parenting skills. I am determined to not follow in their footsteps in that both left us without a written will. This was hard for me as I have suffered brain damage and find it difficult to think things through in any proper manner.
I often apologize now to those who still treat me as if I am normal, “so sorry THAT I AM not!”
It has taken three emergencies in the past two years to make me realize the fragility of my own life. Now that my mama has passed away,I feel a dire need to somehow preserve what I can-remember of her stories. If only my brother and sisters had my desire and shared the same memories! But alas they have recollections that seem foreign to me. It is almost as if they grew up in a different household. Strange that we can remember such different stuff!
I have looked through what I have and what I have, what I have borrowed and know that something I have a clear memory of apparently no longer exists. Or at least if it does, I cannot remember where else to look for it.
I mentioned our mama Nadia has passed away and I am very much in mourning.
When papa Ivan died in 1985 it took over a year to get back in the saddle. However every death is different and we all loved mama more than papa, so in theory it should take longer.
I hope not.
There is too much to do. Also my doctors and nurses and even my physical therapists (and other medical assistants) have all told me how remarkable my recovery is. So I have a slight edge, but then again I am already 66 and not the youthful 35 I was in 1985.
However my test of listening to “Days of Wine and Roses” still fails to keep me from crying. Sometimes I am bawling tears of grief. Mostly I get depressed with damp tears slowly leaking out the far edges of my eyelids while prone in bed.. But I know I have to keep doing things. Every effort counts toward accomplishing my goals. But why is it so hard to remember what does goals are?
Still that is a story for another blog…
(he clip clops and slips away into his own sad sunset)
Yes it is now New Year’s day. Happy New Year everyone! I am considering my resolutions and thinking back on the old year in which I died but returned with a God-given second chance. I am so very grateful to still be amongst you and know that your thoughts and prayers were of much needed assistance.
Considering all the pain and suffering I’ve been through, I believe that just staying alive and getting healthier is the number one resolution I will follow this year. It is my goal to share as much of what life I have left with my loving and dear wife, Betty.
This feeling of gratitude was made poignant as I was packing away Judy’s CD collection that had been given to me before she moved with her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren to the Boston area; given I suspect because her car was already filled with everything else. In her collection I found we mostly had very similar tastes but she definitely strayed more into country western territory! It reminded me that Judy loved doing line dancing. I remember helping her find songs for her group to dance to.
I so much admire Judy for following her bliss in every pursuit she ever applied herself to!
Now it is time for me and Betty to de-clutter our lives. A difficult thing for two hoarders to accomplish. I can show you things I have that belong in a museum! In fact I do not even wish to estimate the amount of time I have spent transferring my hoard into digital medium (and now I am eyeing the cloud!). It would be easier if they just got up and scooted off on their own!
The BIG BUT is I have been trying to de-clutter since shortly after Betty and I were married. I could blame her for some of it and I use her mess as an excuse for my own. I suppose my solution would be to get a bigger home with adequate storage space for all that stuff! At one point I had ALL of my belongings in a yellow barracuda, but I’ve written about that already. So I had already done the hard part.
Now I have once again all the stuff I had before I trimmed down to a barracuda; and more! The challenge is building up my strength and finding the determination and fortitude to accomplish my second new years resolution of de-cluttering our lives. I tend to meet the goals I set for myself. My being able to walk after being totally bedridden is proof of that. Just ask Betty, the best nurse and caretaker in the world!
BTW the cartoon is not attempting to depict Judy or Betty or anyone I know. Judy passed away on May 22, 2013 at home in peace with her family back east. I still think of her now and then; especially when seeing some of her stuff still lying about our house (like the quilt she made of me as a child).
This is the best part about second chances, getting to be with the one you love once again. My Betty still cries whenever she is remembering my coming back from the dead. She could not ask God for the favor of returning me. If you want to know why ask her.
For me it was painful at first. I was drugged with so-called helpful medications, but fortunately sister Tina recognized something being very wrong and had the doctors take me off some of their drugs that were affecting me adversely. Thanks sis!
Worse I could not speak because of a tube down my throat and another down my nose. Both of which were later removed and let me tell you neither was a pleasant experience. I tolerated much abuse from the staff but I also deserved some of the abuse due to my poor attitude in dealing with those who were trying to help. Unfortunately their drugs made me paranoid.
But this is about being back with Betty. Everyday I was hospitalized I prayed to God, Jesus, Mother Mary, and my guardian angel that they keep her safe. I reminded them of the generous woman that she is. How she helps not only friends and family but even strangers. But when visiting me in the hospital she kept lamenting how she had not spent enough time with me. I told her I understood she has a lot to do. But that would not stop her tears from flowing and my heart breaking.
I set myself goals to meet or better her goals for me. I was bedridden and hardly able to move. I needed to be turned over by the staff to avoid bed sores. I began practicing with physical therapists to regain the abilities I had lost. The exercising was difficult but wanting to be back home again with Betty was a very powerful motivating force. As I write this I am indeed home and have been so now for nearly 3 months. According to Betty, my caretaker and soul mate I am still too sick to do things like drive, so she is my chauffer as well. Her cooking has allowed my poor skinny bum to fill out and feel comfortable again while sitting! I am so happy!
Thank you friends and family for praying and assisting me. Thank you God for allowing me a second chance!
A remarkable thing happened on July 21. I died. I blacked out in the ambulance on the way to emergency. I woke up in a neon purgatory. There was no landscape to speak of and I did not seem to have a body either. The sky and ground were long streamers of neon looking lights. A narrative kept playing in my head going on and on about parallel dimensions and time travel. OMG! I was living that novel that Lorin lent me!
After a long, long time everything began to repeat itself. The patterns were predictable, or at least as much as one knows with déjà vu; I recognized I had seen this sequence before as it occurred. To me it seemed that the recurrence took a day to repeat.
I counted each day (there was little else to do!) and waited for the next. Eventually it was a week of days and then a month. When I got to a year I knew I was gone from my family and friends. It was clear I was facing an eternity and perhaps I would be insane soon.
After several years had gone by hope sprang up as I finally noticed a change to the pattern. I followed the oddness and discovered it led to a world similar to earth but seemingly more technologically advanced. I jumped down from a roof overhanging a garden and as my feet hit the dirt I awoke in the hospital.
There were at least 20 IVs and a tube down my throat and one down my nose. Betty was there in tears which instantly turned into a smile. I had returned from the dead. I gestured that I wanted to write. She got a pad and I managed to print “H E L P” in a scrawl.
Then I wrote “H O T” to let them know how uncomfortable I felt. But the main thing is I was back and had a second chance. One that would still take me several months of therapy to go from being totally bedridden to going home and able to walk with a walker.
On December 9 I heard the doorbell ring. Upon opening the door a young 19 year old introduced himself as Rico holding out a leaflet with an offer of a free installation. I was standing behind a closed steel grate and cracked it open to extend my hand thru and get a better look at his leaflet. He continued his spiel as I pulled my hand back to my side of the grate; nearly closing it. but leaving just a gap open. I was reminded of the time I had been a door to door salesman and how hard it was to get anyone to talk to. So I started up a conversation with Rico. Then I came out from behind the grate.
After a bit of chit-chat He agreed that this job of passing out free installation offers for a security company was temporary and in real life he will continue with his college education with a major in psychology. However he is also a musician on soundcloud.
As expected I encouraged him to follow his dreams; you got to have a dream if you want your dream to come true! He seemed happy to talk with me and even better he seemed to appreciate my advice. He was all of 19 years old with so much life still ahead of him.
I reflected on how I became a consultant because he was most interested in that. I went through the story of how I use to go to the Homebrew Computer Club. There I saw Dave Miller make an announcement about needing a technician. It was not until about two week later when David stood up and once again announced he still needed a technician. Curiosity overcame me and I approached him and asked why no one had taken up his offer. Apparently they could not pass some test of his. Did I mind taking the test? “Not at all!” I eagerly replied and passed it with flying colors.
Before I knew it I was working as an entry burn-in technician in charge of Intel memory chips. While working for Intel I met some consultants and asked them the question Rico asked me “How did you become a consultant?”. They told me as I told Rico and now you dear audience. You become one by believing that you are one. I was fortunate that my talents for problem solving came at a time few people knew what to do with all those personal computers. So I provided my advice for a competitive fee and soon found there was much more work than I could possibly do myself.
I bid Rico farewell and closed the gate. Locked it and then did the same with my front door. I shuffled back to my hospital bed to nap sans cane. A shadow of the man I had been, but still alive and I still have dreams I wish to see come true! As to Rico, he can become the legend if he picks his proper path!
I’ve been home now for a bit over two months. There are things that I use to do that I no longer do. The hardest loss for me is my ability to rationalize. While it is less severe now than while I was heavily drugged by doctors shortly after waking from my coma, it remains an ever present reminder of the ordeal I recently survived. However there is that caveat that someday I, as so many others before me will die. I am sure you have heard that saying “None of us get out of here Alive!”.
We work at staying alive with diet and exercise. We have doctors to fix our ills with drugs and surgery. Many view our lives here as the only one we have had or ever will have. This in spite of evidence that every cell in our body is replaced within a span of 7 years. So if you are 21 then you are in your 3rd body. By 63 you are in your 9th. If you make it to 119 well that’s your 17th body! Even if my math is wrong eventually you are absolutely not the you that you were not so many years ago!
So then where did the concept of “only one life” come from? Perhaps we are all in a lucid dream that God shares. I am just another participant; or perhaps the only one in my own universe? Easier to think like Yoda than to grasp the “real” truth of life, in this galaxy far, far…away.