And When I Die…

And When I DieMy mama’s death is still prominent in my thoughts. But she like her Aunt Cossack did not face death. In fact Cossack screamed away her last breath in defiance. I saw this about 2 AM in the morning when I went with my mom to the hospital that she die in. My brain took a picture that seared into my brain her final scream of “NO-oh”!

It reverberating still off the antiseptic walls, ceiling and floor. Mama closed Cossack’s eyes and mumbled a prayer while I noticed Cossack is no longer with us.

We are all but pinkish worms in space-time. Some darker while others are paler, But ALL of us worms.

Facing death makes me think of all the living I still want to do. My dreams are simple. Explore the world. Go places I have not been to. Talk in languages I have not yet spoken. Learn from teachers I have yet to meet. Do it all as soon as possible. For tomorrow I will be dead. I do not or want to know when. I pray it is not for a long, long time.

But tick, tick and tick goes the clock of time. Each tick could be the last. So much still left to do. There is never enough time. There is always just what we have (remains).