Roller Coaster Surprise

Roller CoasterYes as I said in my last blog I am back from the dead. However the ride is still not over. Yesterday I spent the entire day coughing up gunk. This is natural as the body has no better way of eliminating all the bad bits. While it was to be expected it still caught me by surprise. I had to continually remind myself this is just part of the process of getting back to health.

The roller coaster climbed slowly up and went rapidly over the apex. I screamed as I was plunging straight into hell,

I want to get BETTER!”

This time breathing seemed a bit harder. Also sleeping was once again difficult. But today the good news is that I am still feeling better than I have in several weeks, except for the part of having to expel all that flem, obviously! More Good news; today is indeed better than yesterday. I look forward to spending some time soon sitting in the sunshine, which I often do around noon. It is not my plan to dwell on the horrible things happening to me. However I do want to get to mentioning that I know how sick I had been by the type of thoughts I was having.

They were instructive and helpful, almost script like. Instructions to help not hinder. To have constructs that aided breathing. But it was all just in my head. None of these rules were anything but my own imagination at work. Over and over I would come to the realization of what was happening and then once again reminded myself that those thoughts had nothing to do with my current situation. What I needed to do was avoid hyperventilation. Talk a bit. Breath slowly and deeply. Exhale in the same deep manner. More importantly I needed to stay calm.

BTW there’s still too much to do before I die.