Time has this ability; to go past stealthily. You wake up one day and look in the mirror realizing something has changed. Maybe you continue living in denial. But one day it stares back at you. The hair is no longer quite so dark. Strands of grey and white grow more numerous. There are wrinkles. Even comments by others on how nice your hair looks only makes you more aware that in fact you are both looking and being older.
When I was but five I was aware of just how much older everyone else was about me. Only my two sisters were younger. The measure of a year seemed to be as huge as a mile. Those in their teens seemed as adults. The twenties were middle age and as old as my parents. Those over thirty were ancient, frail, smelly and easily near death. While I never lost this memory it is curious that as I grew older my parents grew younger. People who had seemed ancient were all becoming younger! Now a year seemed more like a yard and not as distinct as it had been when I was small. Just as distance shrunk as my body grew so did my perception of aging. But it did not scale linearly. Rather exponential in impact in fact.
My friend Judy is in trouble. My own belief is her reliance on doctors is decidedly two sided. When she is lucky the work they have done on her has been beneficial. However not everything that has been done has gone well. I am thinking of her complaining about the second knee operation and how long that took to heal; it certainly did not go as well as the first.
Today I saw a picture of her with her son RJ in rehab. It saddens me as the way I fondly remember her only remotely matches that image. Dorian Grey springs to mind with regards to how her appearance can be so different in a picture than my own recollection. But that’s time and I force myself to remember it’s a slippery slope.