A consequence of questioning reality is becoming aware that the image that we hold of ourselves is usually different from how others think of us. I have often heard people comment on a photo saying how awful they look. What they mean to say is “Wow I look fat!”. The common excuse is that a camera will magically add pounds to our picture.
We also have a hard time recognizing our own voices on recorded playback. In large families frequently callers are confused by who is answering the phone. They mistakenly think we are someone else. Perhaps it occurs because we tend to mimic how others speak. Being related is a prime factor.
My thoughts regarding our misconception of how we think others see us became crystal clear when I called a friend one day many years ago. It was quickly obvious to me they were drunk or high. While speaking they became so confused that they started talking about me instead of to me. I surmised they were convinced “I” was the subject and not actually the caller. Their words were quite unflattering and difficult to listen to. While that incident gave me very little insight into myself it clearly showed how others actually perceive you and often act one way in front of you and decidedly differently when you are out of earshot.
That person is no longer amongst my friends. Maybe someone else I think of as friend is doing exactly the same thing. Most likely we all do to some degree. Still I am unable to simply dismiss the question, as this blog proves. For the root of who we are and how we see ourselves lies in others as well as ones own perception; our unique Point Of View that no one can really share. Even though we all possess this privileged perception and add our best twist in presenting ourselves to others we still foolishly believe they are seeing us from “our” POV.
Once again I am seem to be belaboring my point. In the same way the earth circles about the sun and the moon about the earth I have gone round my subject. So I will end my blog in a manner similar to how I started. By pointing my finger at that core doubt instilled by experience and masquerading as reality who presents us with many manifestations of the same question, “Is that really me?”.