Sense of Loss

Puzzled2No doubt people have noticed that I have been dwelling on the negative more than usual lately. Most of it is my being unable to contain myself with regard to being forced to deal with the IRS in all of its guises. TMI. I know Too Much Information but bear with me that is all I will say of it in this blog.

Thinking about the past has caused my poor memory to recall an incident that happened in maybe 3rd or 4th grade. While I do not recall the particulars I do recall it taught me a lesson. It concerns an important day that I missed when I was sick from school.

On my day back from being sick it was no surprise we were given a math test. It had one of those word problems where you need to figure out the equations and provide the correct solution. It took time and a lot of figuring but I finally worked it out.

A day later the teacher asked to see my mom. Oh my! Was I in trouble for something? We met with her and I was so relieved that instead of blame I was being praised. The teacher was just amazed at the long string of logic I used to arrive at the correct answer for one of the problems on the math test. But she wanted to know why did I use long division instead of fractions?

Well it just so happens that was taught the day I was sick. It would have taken a lot less time if I had learned and understood fractions. As it was I used what tools I already knew. They were Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication and Long Division. None of which involved fractions or ratios. This was just before New Math had come along.

Here was a memory that got dredged up by some random process. It made me remember how much smarter I was when I was very young. Is it not remarkable that we are able to compare ourselves with other versions of ourselves? We do this in the same manner that we can touch something and feel that it is hotter or colder than us.

It is not that I am more stupid now. My memory no longer works as well as it used to. Lately many labels have become misplaced. When searching for a name I know that if I can hear it said by someone else that I could identify it as being the one I seek. But I am unable to recall it on my own.

There is a coffee shop located nearly everywhere that normally has Wi-Fi available. It was part of the answer to Betty’s question about whether she should have the website she was accessing be remembered by her computer. It bothered me that I could not recall its name. I asked her “What place is it that has Wi-Fi and serves coffee?”. She replied “Do you mean Starbucks?”. Yes. As soon as I heard it I knew that was the name of the place I could describe but forgotten what its name (label) was.

During the entire time I am unable to remember I experience a dire sense of loss.