I have been noticing a lot of holes in my life lately. Not just my heart but big empty places where people and things I love use to be. Places I use to live in but can no longer visit because there is a parking lot instead of our apartment.
As far as people are concerned I do not know which one hurts the most. For the ones who have died there is only pictures and memories. A painful reminder of what now is missing. For the ones who have moved away there is always hope to be with them again.
But somehow hearing a voice or seeing them through video does not fill my void. In a way I find quite agonizing they are still on our planet but too far away to hug and touch. Is it better to think of them as dead and remove a lingering hope that tugs at ones heart?
Regarding my heart. If life were a game of golf. It would be a joy and celebration to have a hole in one.
So I have voids where I use to find joy. People who are no longer there. Empty spaces that look like ghosts. Whole places no longer existing. Maybe you have a hole in your life? The whole and only reason for writing this blog entry is to release the agony of having more than just a hole in mine.