Dedicated to the One I Love

DedicatedToOne-I-LoveDear Betty,

I have loved you as my wife Betty for over 35 years now. You are a most caring person and have an energy that if we could bottle and sell, would be a win-win. We would benefit from the money and the world would be a more productive place for becoming more like you!

Since my Mama Nadia’s death I find my heart more vulnerable and needing of love. Betty, you give me that. But it is not all Roses and Lollipops. We still need to work at it. All that we love and want to keep and cherish.

(For those that do not know I am suffering from congestive heart failure. Dr. Lee did a sonogram recently and confirmed that my heart is still weak and keeps urging me to consider stints and pacemakers and such. We shall see.)

Upon a soapbox I step to proclaim the following to the world:

Betty has become my caretaker as well as being my wife. She is also our Mommy Kwan’s caretaker (sometimes her brother Steven helps her). Besides being an officer of the court for over 30 years, Betty has proudly maintained her RN (registered nursing) license since before our marriage to this very day.

She is well respected by Judges, Lawyers, Doctors, Nurses, and many levels of administrators in both the medical and legal field. I keep telling her it is her brains for which I married her and she often casts that remark aside with a laugh as she has a well-endowed figure too!

This my public apology to her for the behavior of my family of which I am the head of.

You would think that after all the help she has provided the Chopoff’s that everyone would remember, be extremely grateful, and more importantly respectful of her and her wishes.

I hop off the soapbox and return to my dedication of love.

Betty you are my true love and soul mate. In my heart I know we have been together before this life, were very lucky to find each other in this life, and will work to do so again in the next life. Whatever it takes to make our love for each other last forever!

Betty, I will always love you.


A Very Long Time

MamaPhatinaLydia-KaylaIvan1948My name is Nadia and the year is 1948. My face is a mask, ugly. It has been this way a very long time. I pray to God everyday and cry a lot.

Along comes 1949, I got pregnant. We were in a refuge camp on Tubabao Island. Nine months later my first son was born. He would be born with a little shirt.

That day I had a hard labor. I went to the bathroom, but we had the bathroom outside. I yelled, “God! A lot of water came out!”

The lady across the way came over (she’s my friend but I forgot her name).

“Oh my goodness! You’re going to have a baby! Did the baby come out?” she asked.

I said, “No!”

So we went to the hospital. That was about 2 PM. The midwife came in (I did not have a doctor) and examined me and said “Oh that’s OK. You still have plenty of time.

I was suffering with pain, walking, I had to walk around.

In the meantime the father went fishing. He was back home about 6 PM they told him Nadia went to the hospital.

Ivan rushed over. “Is the baby born?”

“Not yet!” I grunted between waves of pain.

He seemed a bit relieved but then he panicked and in a loud voice proclaimed, “I don’t want our son to be born before midnight!”.

Well thanks a lot! Our son dutifully waited until 14 minutes after midnight to be born. He was born with a shirt (an extra layer of skin). So the midwife got a pair of scissor, cut in front and took the shirt off and give it to me.

The lady in the room next to me said, “You’re very lucky. Your son was born in Tiger year and also with a shirt! Your son is will be lucky all his life.”

Then she asked, “Can you give me that shirt?”

“Oh No! I have to keep that shirt for my son.”

I put the shirt under my pillow and fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning the shirt was gone. She must have stolen it.

Must have been when I fell asleep she took it. I was very upset. She must have took it (that little shirt)! I did not know here name and when they told me she had left I was even more upset. Because I wanted that little shirt to keep because it’s very rare when someone is born in a shirt.

My Boyfriend’s Back!

My Boyfriend's Back

My name is Nadia. In 1948 my sister Lydia came home and said “Ross is back and he’s looking for you!”

So I said to Ivan, who was living with us at that time, “Well, here it is! You know you don’t want to get married, which is fine, but my boyfriend is here and that was the agreement; that I would go with him when he comes”.

So Ivan went to his sister’s place to talk and came back and he says to me “OK. Let’s go!”

I said, “Let’s go where?”

He says, “Let’s go get married!” he laughed then added, “But not at the church. At the attorney.”

Well I thought about it and said “Well that’s just fine” because I am already in love with Ivan.

I told my sister “Don’t you tell him (Ross) where I’m at”! So later on I heard he (Ross) was with a Chinese woman.

But Ivan and I finally got married.

And after that came a lot of ships to Shanghai. You want to go to Australia? You want to go to Russia? You want to go to South America? That’s fine. They were there for those wishing to escape the war in China.

My stupid husband got himself a passport. Actually just a little paper from Soviet Union. He wanted to go to Russia!

“I ain’t going! I’m going to United States!” and IRO came in (International Relief Organization) and we registered with IRO and we’re going to Philippines Islands

So finally we got the papers to go to Philippines Islands.

As we are going to Philippines Island in 1948 we went on a ship and as we pass the border of China. I forgot what was that name. That was at night time so we went to sleep.

I got up in the morning and I looked in the mirror and said “Oh My God! What Happened?” I have a brown mustache, my eye brown and then another eye brown. I looked like a freak. I got all upset because I was very pretty and here is my mask. So I went to the doctors and he said you must be pregnant. It was 1948.

I said, “No! I am not pregnant.”

To which doctor replied, “Well don’t worry! The way it came, that’s how it’s going to go”.

Well it didn’t go for a long time!

(to be continued…)

Head of a Broken Family

Head of Broken FamilyPlay Prodigal Daughter by Pearl and the Beard while reading this to understand my mood. Do not listen to the words and just listen. It is calming. I feel peaceful and hopeful. Prodigal, where is home? My dear heart.

I’ve continuously been explaining since my brain bleed that I am now brain damaged. I cannot fix it but I am hoping that by explaining it people will show me some consideration and allow me to finish my thoughts.

Fortunately I can hide that in my blog. I can edit it until it makes sense to me. So you dear reader just need to believe me when I say carrying on a normal conversation is much more difficult.

My brother and I are writing checks to cover the unpaid costs due to Crosby N Gray Funeral Co. That will bury my sisters obligation made when she unwittingly signed a contract (story for another blog) and Betty will deliver our check in hopes of avoiding a horrible lawsuit.

My father complained of scientists. How ironic that I have become one. Computer science encompasses it all. We also have a belief that we are living in a computer simulation. Admittedly it is a more complicated picture than God, Heaven and Hell. Perhaps his father, my grandfather Ivan who was a priest or deacon in the Russian Orthodox church curses me for being such a sinner and non-believer.

However I like to think he has become much more open minded and forgiving now that they are all in heaven. For me heaven is more like that image presented in Defending Your Life

We shall all too soon see! Smile.

The Chinese Rich Man’s Party

Chinese Rich Man

A gift from my mama, This is based on a voice recording she made for me back in 2011. It is about how she met Ivan.

Now I’m going to record about your father. In 1946 (the) Americans came and we were very happy because we can go and eat and they were very, very nice to all the white people that we had there but they did not stay too long. In 1947 we woke up and they all were gone. All of them. So…

But In the meantime I met a boyfriend and his name was Calvin Lee Ross. And he had to leave so before he left he said he’s coming back for me. That I’ll be sure to wait for him. So I said “OK I will”. But you know Americans, they always say they’ll come but they never come. So I didn’t have much hope.

But I was waiting!

Then In 1947 I met your father. I went to the party. He brought his girlfriend with him. But danced with me all night and even didn’t take her home! He stayed there. So we had a nice time.

So I thought that was it, but no, he start calling me and one time he called me and I said I couldn’t go because I was going to the party.

There was a Chinese man, very rich man. Me and my girlfriend we knew him for quite a long time. Of course he had two or three wives (who knows?). But he was very nice and he always invited us for the party. So I went to the party. And…

Your father got mad and haven’t called me or talked to me for about a week. Finally he called me. And we went out. Then he was telling about his father and Harbin. And said he will never get married until his father brings his papers.

I said “Well that’s just fine because I am not intend to marry you. I have a boyfriend that’s supposed to come and get me and I’ll go to United States.

Then in 1948, my sister was living with us. We had the room and she had a little room by the kitchen. One day she came in and said “Ross is back”. And “He’s looking for you”.

(to be continued…)

I Am Broke

Empty Pockets2We just buried mama Nadia last month, but she died intestate. We live in California so our state laws regarding funerals may differ from yours. Here is what I found…

If you die with:

here’s what happens:

children but no spouse, parents, or siblings

·children inherit everything

Children’s Shares in California

If you die without a will in California, your children will receive an “intestate share” of your property. The size of each child’s share depends on how many children you have and whether or not you are married. (See the table above.)

For children to inherit from you under the laws of intestacy, the state of California must consider them your children, legally. For many families, this is not a confusing issue. But it’s not always clear. Here are some things to keep in mind.

  • Children born during your marriage. Any child born to your wife or registered domestic partner during your marriage or partnership is assumed to be your child and will receive a share of your estate.
  • Grandchildren. Your grandchildren will receive a share only if their parent (your child) has died before you do.

· In case you want to read the law, Cal. Prob. Code §§ 6450–6455 covers parent-child relationships.

· This can be a tricky area of the law, so if have questions about your relationship to your parent or child, get help from an experienced attorney.

Other California Intestate Succession Rules

Here are a few other things to know about California intestacy laws.

  • Survivorship period. To inherit under California’s intestate succession statutes, a person must outlive you by 120 hours. So if you and your brother are in a car accident and he dies a few hours after you do, his estate would not receive any of your property.
  • Half-relatives. “Half” relatives inherit as if they were “whole.” That is, your sister with whom you share a father, but not a mother, has the same right to your property as she would if you had both parents in common.
  • Posthumous relatives. Relatives conceived before–but born after–you die inherit as if they had been born while you were alive.
  • Immigration status. Relatives entitled to an intestate share of your property will inherit whether or not they are citizens or legally in the United States.
  • Slayer rule. Someone who “feloniously and intentionally” kills you will not receive a share of your property. (California Probate Code §§ 250.)

BTW This is a work of fiction only partially based on facts. Also I am not a lawyer and this is not advice! Smile

Why Did It Explode?

explosionIt is strange to think that Einstein made a blunder. However once shown that our universe was actually expanding he removed his cosmological constant and simplified his equation to:

G = 8 * π * T

A beautiful equation.

But our reality and as best as our observations can confirm, there are errors between this ideal and what is actually happening. In my blogs I point out that what I write is fiction and here is my proof that even the most accurate description we can come up, is flawed because our reality is not what we think it is.

So we continue to try and understand.

Gone But Not Forgotten

1982xmas5x7 Geary & NadiaOur mama died and was buried according to her religion. She was Russian Orthodox and a loving parent. As I write this it has not been 40 days quite yet so her soul is still wandering upon the earth.

I was baptized a Russian Orthodox as well. However my papa Ivan (whose father was a Russian Orthodox Priest) warned me about scientists. Which ironically I have become.

Nadia left all four of her children still alive. I am the oldest, my brother the youngest and our two sisters in-between. Papa passed away in 1985. Nadia in 2016. She told me often that she still loves Ivan. Well she is buried with him now and has not haunted me about that (yet!).

Now that I am a 66 year old orphan I question their parenting skills. I am determined to not follow in their footsteps in that both left us without a written will. This was hard for me as I have suffered brain damage and find it difficult to think things through in any proper manner.

I often apologize now to those who still treat me as if I am normal, “so sorry THAT I AM not!”

Back in the Saddle

saddleguyIt has taken three emergencies in the past two years to make me realize the fragility of my own life. Now that my mama has passed away,I feel a dire need to somehow preserve what I can-remember of her stories. If only my brother and sisters had my desire and shared the same memories! But alas they have recollections that seem foreign to me. It is almost as if they grew up in a different household. Strange that we can remember such different stuff!

I have looked through what I have and what I have, what I have borrowed and know that something I have a clear memory of apparently no longer exists. Or at least if it does, I cannot remember where else to look for it.

I mentioned our mama Nadia has passed away and I am very much in mourning.

When papa Ivan died in 1985 it took over a year to get back in the saddle. However every death is different and we all loved mama more than papa, so in theory it should take longer.

I hope not.

There is too much to do. Also my doctors and nurses and even my physical therapists (and other medical assistants) have all told me how remarkable my recovery is. So I have a slight edge, but then again I am already 66 and not the youthful 35 I was in 1985.

However my test of listening to “Days of Wine and Roses” still fails to keep me from crying. Sometimes I am bawling tears of grief. Mostly I get depressed with damp tears slowly leaking out the far edges of my eyelids while prone in bed.. But I know I have to keep doing things. Every effort counts toward accomplishing my goals. But why is it so hard to remember what does goals are?

Still that is a story for another blog…

(he clip clops and slips away into his own sad sunset)

Out With the Old

OutWithOldYes it is now New Year’s day. Happy New Year everyone! I am considering my resolutions and thinking back on the old year in which I died but returned with a God-given second chance. I am so very grateful to still be amongst you and know that your thoughts and prayers were of much needed assistance.

Considering all the pain and suffering I’ve been through, I believe that just staying alive and getting healthier is the number one resolution I will follow this year. It is my goal to share as much of what life I have left with my loving and dear wife, Betty.

This feeling of gratitude was made poignant as I was packing away Judy’s CD collection that had been given to me before she moved with her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren to the Boston area; given I suspect because her car was already filled with everything else. In her collection I found we mostly had very similar tastes but she definitely strayed more into country western territory! It reminded me that Judy loved doing line dancing. I remember helping her find songs for her group to dance to.

I so much admire Judy for following her bliss in every pursuit she ever applied herself to!

Now it is time for me and Betty to de-clutter our lives. A difficult thing for two hoarders to accomplish. I can show you things I have that belong in a museum! In fact I do not even wish to estimate the amount of time I have spent transferring my hoard into digital medium (and now I am eyeing the cloud!). It would be easier if they just got up and scooted off on their own!

The BIG BUT is I have been trying to de-clutter since shortly after Betty1971-Plymouth-YellowBarracuda and I were married. I could blame her for some of it and I use her mess as an excuse for my own. I suppose my solution would be to get a bigger home with adequate storage space for all that stuff! At one point I had ALL of my belongings in a yellow barracuda, but I’ve written about that already. So I had already done the hard part.

Now I have once again all the stuff I had before I trimmed down to a barracuda; and more! The challenge is building up my strength and finding the determination and fortitude to accomplish my second new years resolution of de-cluttering our lives. I tend to meet the goals I set for myself. My being able to walk after being totally bedridden is proof of that. Just ask Betty, the best nurse and caretaker in the world!

BTW the cartoon is not attempting to depict Judy or Betty or anyone I know. Judy passed away on May 22, 2013 at home in peace with her family back east. I still think of her now and then; especially when seeing some of her stuff still lying about our house (like the quilt she made of me as a child).